That moment when you think “she has it made”. Her life seems
perfect. Every picture looks like a dream.
Most of us would admit that minutes before the “perfect
Kodak moment” (if we are ever able to produce one within our lifetime) and
minutes after, it’s not uncommon for two of us to be in an argument, one of the
kids to be screaming, and for us to be shouting out bribes in the most vociferous
way, using leverage that we never dreamed we would succumb to even in desperate
situations such as this. But desperate times do call for desperate measures: after
all, we are trying to achieve screen candy, a jealous worthy photo.
From the wishing side--I have been on this side far more
than I care to admit--it’s not all that different from wishing you had someone
else’s boyfriend in high school. From where you stand, he looks perfect and
cute. Little do you know that he leaves dirty underwear on the floor, talks
about bodily functions, burps out loud and then brags about it.
The age old saying “the grass is always greener” could never
be more true. If you are ever able to get the other lawn, you would soon see
that your lawn doesn’t look quite as bad as you thought, and walking a mile in the
other person’s shoes -- or on their
grass, to be consistent with the analogy -- will probably make you want to
strut right back over to your own grass again.
A very wise person recently said to me “stop focusing on
what you do not have and focus on what you DO have”.
However, it is difficult to remember this very logical train
of thought when facebook grabs you and makes you feel like your life is not
nearly as fun as Ramona’s. You never ever get to go to the beach in comparison
to Jacquie. You certainly have never been to cool places like Annie. If only
you could decorate your house like Josephine. She has the most adorable
pinterest-worthy vintage table made out of broken glass pieces with a painting
sitting on top of it in a distressed wooden frame.
Somehow, Satan keeps using the same old trick, and it is
still working on us. (I guess that’s why he keeps using it). How can we resist
the enemy so that he will flee from us (James 4:7)?
Think of someone you know who is truly, truly happy. There
is someone that comes to my mind who fits that description. She does not live
in a very large house. I don’t know if she goes to the beach often--if at all.
On facebook, she rarely posts, but often leaves positive comments on others’
status updates. She is always ready to give a smile and a hug. She serves
others often: at church and in the community.
Happiness is not what we think it is. It doesn’t look like
what we usually associate it with, either. Happiness is simplicity, a
relationship with Jesus, fellowship with a friend.
Not only that, but Jesus doesn’t promise happiness. He
promises love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self-control, as fruits of the Spirit. But happiness is not on
the list.
In fact, we are also promised suffering, as Christians. So
perhaps if we feel neglected in any way, if we feel like good times are passing
us by, and that this is causing us to suffer, perhaps we should be thankful. An
easy life with no suffering, although facebook worthy, is not at all what God
promised.
Occasionally, my boys watch a Disney show called “Lab Rats”
on Netflix--your typical middle school sit-com. In the episode that we watched
together on Saturday (yes, I watched it with them…) they were supposed to learn
the art of aikido fighting. Apparently, the principle behind this particular
martial art is to figure out your opponent’s attack mechanism, and to use that
very move against him.
How about if we used aikido in our thought process to deal
with jealousy? Instead of indulging those thoughts of inferiority and
worthlessness when those lies pummel us by surprise, when we find ourselves
giving in, we should use those very feelings of hurt and remember that we are
right where Jesus wants us to be. If we are feeling left out from the world and
we are suffering because we are not pursuing the “things” that FB tells us we
should, then guess what, bam! That is our reminder that we are on the right
path. If we are suffering because we are missing out on what the world can
offer… um hello! That’s a good thing, right? It’s OK that we are not keeping up… it may be more than OK. It may just be the
right thing.
So use those not-quite-fitting-in feelings, and feel
thankful that you are probably right where Jesus wants you to be. And in that
thankfulness, you will be defeating the enemy.
